What will today bring?

I asked myself and God this question this morning. What will I learn today? Who will I get to help?

Our first patient, Angel, was a wonderful 42 yo woman who functions at the level of a toddler. She'd fallen and broken her hip. She could say mama and knew we were going home. The worst part of this call is the possible pain she was in. She yelled when she was being touched by strangers, so we couldn't tell if it was the way we were moving her or that was her normal.

I honestly think Angel was the one patient Beatbox and I might have fought over. Mom was the more high strung of the parents. Super nice. High strung is not the right phrase. The father was the more laid back. I immediately liked him. It helped that he was wearing a shirt for the 100th anniversary of the Indianapolis Speedway. I grew up not far from there and yet have never been. I have never been to qualifications, Carb day, none of it. This father praised the city, the race, the people, the hospitality. I haven't been home in 6 months and it just made that much more home sick.

Two more pts that couldn't walk or talk, great partner, great day.

Not a rookie anymore

I'm going to have to change my blog handle. It's been Rookie Bebe for three years. The Rookie for being...a rookie. Not only that, but for feeling like I'll never get the hang of this, I'll never be comfortable being myself...lots of other things.

In the last two weeks I've been with three wonderful medics who are experienced but have never worked NET before. You are probably saying to yourself that NET is super easy and it is. But if the company can figure out how to make it more difficult, they will. Same paperwork, but different ways of filling it out just to be different they will.

I have never felt confident or good enough (is that the same thing?) to really teach anyone the ropes as far as something new goes. Yesterday I realized I'm not the rookie anymore. I'm not 97% less nervous than I ever have been. I'm way more comfortable teaching. Helping my partner learn new things.

My partner yesterday, I'll call Beatbox, is so fresh out of school that "the ink is still dripping off his card." Other than his thirdrides I'm his second full day on the job. Honestly you wouldn't know. He not over confident, but so willing and so in love with the career. He has fun and talks to the pts.

We had a good day, better than I've had in weeks. Post coming about my marbles.:)

This blog is meant to be me*

*was going to be titled Why I blog but Medic 7 beat me to it with this post.

I lost my marbles. Not my sense, but my figurative marbles. Like Toodles in Hook. He literally lost his bag of marbles. When he finds them at the end he feels whole again. That's me.

I lost sight of what I do, why I do it, and who I am as an EMT, which I'm only just learning how to be comfortable and not so self-conscious. I'm way more comfortable talking to my patients. I have only ever called 911 once and I was treated so wonderfully. The first responders really took care of me, my medic made jokes and took my mind off the pain. Confidence. That's something I don't have, didn't have, in myself, and my partners could see it. I know not to let the pts or family members see it and I hope I did a good job of hiding it. Goodwin helped me to overcome some of that by making me start an INT on him. He said my technique was perfect, it's that I have no confidence that I'll get it. He always taught in a way that was never condescending, and always with patience and sometimes with humor.

The rookie in me is gone, it's time to take on another role. Not teacher - that's someone with experience. More than I have. Mentor - no. I've had them, too. What is the step after rookie? Good at looking confident?

My partner this week is very new, but he had an excellent EMT teacher. Now the real world teaching begins. Showing him we have an AED built in to the lifepak12, that while we might not intubate, we are equipped with the basic airway and adjuncts and D50 should we find ourselves in that position. I am teaching him and he is eager to learn. I watch him first and then instruct if it's needed.

As far as my job. Working for a company is a necessary evil. I am an EMT for the patients that need me, not for the cold-hearted corporation. I used to go to work thinking What will today bring? Who will I get to meet today? What will I see today? I lost that. I'm slowly coming back to it. It makes it so much easier to face the day.

As far as this blog. I was trying to be like other blogs I read. I was taking my personality out of it and worried about what anyone would think of me. I need to be me. This is my place to talk about what gets me, touches me, what I deal with everyday.

Taking a small hiatus

I know work is not all hunky dory. I love my job, I do not love my company. Right now I don't feel private and safe on this blog. I will in a couple of months. For now our A/C does not work and all the trucks are constantly breaking down. All the GT, or NET, people are going to California shift or four days a week. Everybody but me. I make really good money right now. But 5 - 9 hour days with no a/c is murder. Our pts are miserable.

Anyway, I don't want my blog to be miserable. I'm taking a little time off from writing until I can be more positive. I'll keep writing posts in my notebook to post here. Until then, I'll be reading those I follow.

Have a great summer!!!

2009 EMS expo

It's coming to Atlanta this year! Which means I'm taking a couple days off to go and take some classes. Who else will be there?

I am having trouble just finding prices for the classes. What is the average price? I'm asking because I can't register for them yet, but want to plan.